I had a pretty cuckoo bananas dream last night. I was at a party at my boyfriend’s place, a former fraternity house that is now home to mostly engineering students. We were hanging out with a bunch of friends in someone’s bedroom when, out of nowhere, my boyfriend whipped out a blowtorch. He aimed it at me. I thought he was kidding, so I let him play-chase me around the house until he actually burned me with it. Then I really started running, but he kept catching up to me and burning me. It hurt so badly in my dream but going to the hospital never crossed my mind. I retreated to the apartment of a friend who lives nearby. The next day, I called my boyfriend to say, “WTF?” He said that I would do the same thing to him if I had a blowtorch (Where would I get a blowtorch? I should have been asking where he got one), and that is was over. Then he hung up on me and turned off his phone. I kept calling him and leaving voicemails, begging for his forgiveness. WHAT? His forgiveness FOR WHAT? I was the one covered in burns, dammit.
I was a little confused when I first woke up this morning. I thought maybe I should check Facebook to see if we were still In a Relationship. Then I realized, Woohoo, I still have a boyfriend and he didn’t chase me around with a blowtorch. What a guy, it was all a dream! Geez.