Weird Dreams I Have Had

-Last night I dreamt that James May, my favorite Top Gear presenter, committed suicide by hanging himself from the basketball hoop in my driveway.

-When I was six or seven I dreamt that Minnie and Mickey Mouse ate people.

-Last year I dreamt that I was Kanye West and my boyfriend was Beyonce. We were dating and Jay-Z was my best friend. Boyfriend-Beyonce (Boyance) was jealous of all the time I was spending with Jay-Z so she cut my body off right below the collar bone while I was asleep. It didn’t hurt. I used my hands to walk.

-A few months ago I dreamt that I was staying at a B&B-type place with my boyfriend. We had a nice lovemaking sesh and then he went off to do something else. Jaime Hyneman from Mythbusters came into my room and then I had some hot and steamy sexin’ with him. Later that night we went to a party together and he proposed to me. I backed away from him until I fell out of a window.